Advance of the human!

In my eighty-one years, I have observed a lot of human real estate. In so doing, I have developed a keen eye for the human condition. Believe me, it has changed!

In the 1950s, Andre Williams recorded a song called "Jail Bait". In the lyric, a man stood before a judge, accused of improper relationships with underage girls. Pleading for leniency, the accused promised

Please Mr. Judge
You just let me go this time
I won't mess with those young girls no more
I swear I won't bother them no more Mr. Judge
I ain't gonna bother none 15
I ain't gonna bother none 16
I ain't gonna bother none 17
I ain't gonna mess with none 18

To underscore his sincerity, he explained:

I'm gonna get me a girl about forty-two...

Talk about a laugh-out-loud line! 42? Teens of the day wondered: Do girls really get that old?

Well, that was the 1950s. The world was on a different track. President Eisenhower was busy ending the Korean War (he succeeded), keeping the budget balanced (succeeded, again), and designing the Interstate Highway System (Yep, he succeeded there, also.)

But, off to the side - in the shadows - the nanny state was hatching in some people's minds. Looking beyond national security, fiscal responsibility and modern infrastructure, these folks were wanting to save us from our own bad habits. (Uh, they still are!). It took awhile, but they eventually eliminated trans-fats; got rid of well-marbled steaks, in favor of tough, lean beef; they created bottled water, glorified vegetarianism; greatly curtailed high fructose corn syrup; brought us organic eggs, etc., etc.

Mostly, we did not realize that these steps were doing wonderful things for some citizens.

Today I look at a 42 year-old-woman and I think: college freshman! Everywhere you look there's a hot 50-year-old!

The other day my wife of forty years headed out the door for some grocery shopping. All I could think was, "Damn, she's cute!"

Long live bottled water!