Watching TV with the missus.

Watching TV with my wife is always a trip. Imagine it's a news broadcast and an important foreign diplomat is about to answer a pointed question. I strain to understand him.

Wife: "Oh, No!"

Me: "What? What did he say?"

Wife: "It's his tie! That is a horrible tie!"

I strain to focus on the tie. Looks okay to me. Nice green and pink stripes.

The TV host thanks his guest for his opinion and goes to another story. Rats. I missed his comment.

The camera cuts to the female co-anchor who will introduce a second guest.

Wife: "Finally!"

Me: "What did she say?"

Wife: "She didn't say anything, but she finally pickled a dress that makes her look slimmer!"

Me: "She's wearing a dress???"

They go into a commercial break and the commercial is for Jeep Grand Cherokee.

Me: "Now, that is ridiculous!"

Wife: "What happened?"

Me: "Nobody drives like that. Can you imagine some idiot paying thirty thousand for a vehicle then go speeding up a canyon over boulders, like he wanted to tear the suspension out of it?"

Wife: "Oh.... I wasn't watching."

Still I wouldn't miss a minute of it. Especially when she makes popcorn and scoots closer on the sofa to share!