If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck - It's A Duck!

Scoff, if you will, at the duck paradigm of scientific exploration, but when you have spent 80 years looking at ducks, watching them walk, listening to them quack... you get pretty good at determining if that really is a duck!

With that in mind, here is my take on candidate Obama - two days before the big election.

A little history: Obama's Mom was an air-headed white girl from southeast Kansas. Nothing evil about that, America is full of air-heads. Witness the Obama supporters in Harlem, interviewed by Howard Stern's roving reporter... the ones who were okay with Obama's pro-life stance and thought it was pretty cool that he had selected Sarah Palin as his running mate???

I once lived in Southeast Kansas. Different folks there. Across the state line in Springfield, Missouri, my business partner and I once took a client, along with his sales manager and his ad manager to lunch at a decent restaurant. When the servers delivered our meals, the client required that we all hold hands and bow our heads while the sales manager, in a clearly audible voice, said Grace. No big deal. Just different.

So, Obama's Mom went off to school, to begin a lifelong career as a student. She chose a U.S. school in Hawaii, about as far as you can get from Wichita. As a further bit of evidence that she did not have a close family relationship and strong Kansas social grounding, she took up with some black men. Years later, in the 1970s, one of my own white daughters wrote me from college that the cutest guys on campus were black, and seemed to be probing for my opinion about her dating a black kid. But this was the 1950s. A black and white couple would have suffered instense social pressure.

I say Obama's mom took up with black men, because we know she was legally married to one, but when she gave birth to a mixed race child, he looked more like Frank, the black poet in the neighborhood, then the man whose name he was given. Was that marriage one of convenience to help the Kenyan stay in the U.S.? Did they ever actually consumate their marriage in the biblical sense of the word? That is to say, "Is Barack his kid?" We'll likely never know.

Anyway, the Kenyan outlasted the usefulness of the marriage and split. Mom now married Lolo, an Indonesean man (He wasn't a Wichita sort of guy, either!), and off they went to Southeast Asia. He turned out to be another bum and she dropped him. Not, however, until he had indoctrinated her son to some degree (while they were learning boxing and shooting baskets) in the art of eating meat from dogs and snakes and roasted grasshoppers. And, he instructed Barack, "If you can't be strong, be clever and make peace with someone who's strong. But always better to be strong yourself. Always".

After about four years, much to her credit, she concluded that sitting in a classroom with a bunch of ragheads learning scriptures from the Quran was not going to help her son earn a living. So she shipped him back to Hawaii to be raised by her parents. Thankfully, they were not happy about the distance from Hawaii to Wichita and had moved to the islands to be closer to their daughter. (Was that why she escaped to Indonesia??)

Every parent knows that every teenager thinks their parents are archaic. If you were a cool black dude, going home to a white family each day must have been extremely painful. But when that white family is grandparents... it must have been unbearable.

Barack started hanging out with the old black poet. Why? Was this really his father. Had he spent time at Barack's house while his mother was in Hawaii? No matter. We know now that the poet was Frank Marshall Davis, a Communist of the first order, who taught Barack that black people "have a reason to hate."

Barack learned to placate people's fears by being courteous and smiling a lot. "...they found it a pleasant surprise to find a well-mannered young black man who didn't seem angry all the time."

Eventually, with the knowledge that black people have a reason to hate; with the understanding that it is better to be strong - but next best to make peace with someone who is strong; and with a smattering of indoctrination in Communism, Barack made it off to the Ivy Leagues. There, hard left professors added an intellectual tone to those learnings.

Radicalized and educated, Barack found someone strong to make peace with. He fell in with Alinsky and Ayers; served his apprenticeship to them and convinced them he was someone worth considerable investment in time and fortune. His community agitation work took him to black churches where some pastors, still believing in hard work and education as the road to success, rejected him. Then he met Jeremiah Wright. Wright gave legitimacy to his 'Hate All whites" leanings. Ayers honed the Communistic beliefs incubated by the poet Frank.

Somehow they arranged his admission to Harvard Law School. With an Organizer's salary of about $12,000 a year, Obama found the tens of thousands of dollars needed for tuition and living expenses. (Tuition to HLS today is $44,900!!) Nice trick!

They hand carried him into the Illinois State Senate and to the U.S. Senate. With acceptance by the DNC he became a candidate for President. Employing all those "smile while you backstab" tactics he had perfected, he defeated all "regular" Democrats and won the nomination.

So, today we have a white-hating, Muslim accepting, young black Communist itching to move into the Oval Office.

Where do I get all this? Just my opinion. (Did I hear a quack?)

But they haven't lettered his name on the door just yet, so with a deeply imbedded sense of patriotism and great trust in the American people, this Tuesday night I will go to bed early, as I do every night, and wait until Wednesday to celebrate President McCain.

UPDATE: Okay, America surprised me. But, which America? Today I scratch my head, wondering where were the Catholics when they chose a man who "wouldn't want his daughters punished with a baby"? Where were the Jews when they abandoned a friend of Israel? Where were the feminists who railed against fair treatment of women, when they dissed an honest, self-made woman from Alaska? And what happened to Black America, after pleading for an end to racism, themselves became racist and voted 95% for skin pigment?